Have a jolly and customary British Yuletide!

By Stanley Collymore

From bitter arguments and sullen disagreements, to

very serious impairment of what were already

fractured relations with people with whom

they’re supposedly blood-related to but

in actuality can’t really stand or even casually abide

each other’s company, and in normal  situations

wouldn’t been seen dead with them. But now

feel obligated to do so because it’s usually

expected of them to play this insincere

game that all of them are glumly and

gingerly indulging in because it is

Christmastide and, furthermore,

the recognized, British thing!

“You great lummox!” shouted an incensed wife

to her severely inebriated husband ostensibly

helping her prepare the Christmas dinner

in their kitchen. “What the bloody hell

is it that you think you’re doing?” she furiously

questioned. Hurriedly and sternly adding on

more perceptive reflection. “I particularly

requested you were to pluck the turkey,

Bertie. And not participate in what it
is that you’re distinctly now doing!”

Ending her respective tirade thus: “Well stuff

the turkey if you must! For I can honestly

tell you that whatever slender chance

you probably imagined you might

also have had between the two

of us in that apparent regard

is absolutely with me, null

and void this Christmas!”

© Stanley V. Collymore

20 December 2019.

Author’s Comments:

The height of cynicism on my part as regards British Christmases? Not really! For I’ve seen enough of them to know and state precisely what I mean! But I don’t think any of that will or should ever cause me to spoil your “celebrations”. And why should it? For that’s certainly not my intention. And I’m simply being the pragmatic person I’ve always been.