Knowing and respecting my own mind! (Article)

By Stanley Collymore

Here you are professing to love me, yet at the same time, and knowing exactly how I feel, trying so very hard to convince me that there’s no logical point in my safeguarding my virginity prior to my chances of matrimony, especially in this world in which we’re both currently living and where morality, you say, is now passé having had its day, and consequently is totally devoid of all meaning or credibility.

And therefore it’s utterly pointless, you likewise resolutely contend, my vainly trying to stem and even unrewardingly pretend I can roll back the passage of time for no genuinely useful end it would seem to you, to a dark era where through a societally endorsed mixture of socially contrived ignorance and an intentionally coercive as well as an unthinkingly conventionally adhered to behaviour of protecting, or rather more fittingly using one’s female chastity as a prized bargaining chip to advantageously advance one’s likely marital prospects or personal status, and concurrently secure a cherished position in society and life generally did actually matter.

But now, realistically and thankfully so you passionately declare, not any more. For things have changed significantly since those antiquated times and quite beneficially, you add exultantly. And the enterprise and with it the deeply ingrained notion of a woman obliged to weaponized her sexuality for societal advancement combined with the expected accruement of personal benefits to buttress her financial security within the confines of matrimony are no longer, you state emphatically, an absolute necessity in the 21^st Century.

Personally, that’s obviously your firm opinion lover-boy and quite possibly is one that will both impress and sway other women, I promptly concede, to think and behave as you suggest, but alas, for you, I’m not one of them. And expressing it bluntly and likewise unambiguously I’m already fully cognizant of and have for some time now consciously rejected the same arguments you’re now so vigorously proselytizing. So if you don’t mind my saying so, how I deal with and either choose to utilize or not to accordingly my individual sexuality is frankly my own darn business and not yours or that of anyone else; and with that, from my own true perspective and furthermore indisputably in mind, is really a matter that I most categorically consider is entirely, and for all time, unquestionably up to me.

Ever since Adam convinced Eve that it was she who persuaded him, and not himself in an act of his volition, to afford himself the fortuitous opportunity to fulsomely avail himself of her scrumptious apple and pleasurably by doing so individually awoke the dormant sexual passion within both of them that subsequently in physical terms thoroughly satisfied their heterosexual requirements, and from a religious perspective gave rise we’re biblically informed to humanity, subsequent generations of human beings have consistently been debating and even vehemently arguing about whose role it actually is to initiate sexual adventures between males and females as well as the modus operandi they should appropriately employ to do so. A consensus on which neither side to-date, it seems, is willingly prepared to universally compromise on this issue, and so this contentious debate with all its various disagreements and arguments rumble on.

Well, not everywhere I’m pleased to say. For in my ancestral homeland of Barbados a rather pragmatic approach has sensibly, intelligently, compatibly and effectively in the interests of all concerned maturely been adopted. And it’s along these practical lines: That a man chases a woman until at the right time of her own choosing she decisively decides to catch him. That way both participants in this love game can truthfully say that the invariably successful end result of this joint adventure of theirs is doubtlessly one in which their individual contributions can’t honestly be decried or underrated; and therefore there’s no need on the part of either of them to get embroiled in mutual antagonisms or unwarranted castigations. Thus guaranteeing for them, and as best as any human being can, a permanent window of pleasurable opportunity for those who’re willing to participate with composure and amorous determination in their joint sexual adventure.