By
Stanley Collymore
Why do we needlessly keep recognizing the seasons in
Britain when in actuality there’s no difference nowadays between any of them? I
say this because I can well remember the time when there was a clear
distinction, let’s say, between Spring and Winter, but those days, alas, are
long gone; and when, pray tell, can you truthfully remember or vividly recall
when we all had good old-fashioned pristine, and lots of it, snow on Christmas
Day and the rest to every one of us who fortunately and specifically overall
was then truly and appropriately called Winter?
Instead, our current and so-called winter-weather as
well as Winter itself have decidedly morphed into rather poor facsimiles of
essentially and quite noticeably what was previously Spring, while Spring
itself has confusingly been transformed into a bleak, dreary, dismally snowy
white and the facade for a traditionally winter-type scenario where, not uncustomary
to see, hail sorts, snow downpours and all manner of icy cold and blustery
weather liberally bombards our British landscape with impunity and in the
process ridiculously fashioning in the making an Artic type environment that in
numerous respects, and for me bar none, is in all truthfulness, markedly less
appealing or in any meaningful sense reassuring weather-wise as one could realistically
expect to find in Iceland or even Greenland.
For all that this climatic disturbance with its
attendant and debilitating for me anxiety and infernal annoyance does, is to
reinforce the customary and irritating British social custom and culture of
incessantly talking at every specified chance or contrived opportunity afforded
to them, for most Brits to talk rather garrulously about the bloody weather,
whether in standard or as well improvised or intuitively manufactured conversations.
Seemingly, the only evident thing in a country, the United Kingdom, where most
people either noticeably with a distinct apathetic attitude towards or a perceptible
and at best minimalist opinion, or even none, on most things uniformly, when it
involves the British weather, nevertheless conspicuously and openly have no reticence
in exhibiting their forbearing and more consensual unanimity.
Essentially while this is a tongue-in-the cheek
article and poem there’s nevertheless more than a grain of salt in relation to
the truth and about what I’m saying. And whether one believes that the kinds of
unpredictable weather patterns that we’ve been experiencing for some time is as
a direct consequence of global warming that itself stems from the inconsiderate
and even malicious actions brought about by human activities or are simply the
result of a cyclical situation that has been going on for millennia and ever
since this inhabited planet we live on and call Earth was created, or is a
combination in greater or lesser form of these two things, is for every one of
you who is all that bothered to make your own analytical judgement on.
Then, of course, there are the speculative suggestions
that mankind, who has both been a general benefit as well as an infernal curse
to this planet we call home while often quite arrogantly and most conveniently
forgetting that there are other species of animals as well as other creatures
that live here too and in most cases have been on Earth for far longer than
Homo sapiens has been, have embarked on and even managed to utilize insidious
means, these elements of human kind obsessed with their ludicrous and
delusional notions of superiority coupled with a divine right to rule and
control everyone and everything on this planet and just as idiotically feel
themselves imbued with an unchallengeable right to the perceived concept of
their own exclusivism in all matters, to effectively control the weather and
malevolently use it for their own purposes and endeavours, is another bone of
contention we apparently have to deal with.
Truthfully, I’ve no categorical proof that anything of
the sort in respect of the weather is happening, but putting that aside and fully
knowledgeable about the kind of people that this human scum are, I personally
wouldn’t put anything past them.
Suffice to say that whoever does what or nothing at
all to the weather there’s nothing that I can personally and on my own do about
it nor want to idly speculate about for that matter. For I guess that in being
basically a Brit what essentially I want to, and like others prefer to do, and
specifically in my case when I’ve nothing better to do, is like all the rest of
you, in one way or the other, to culturally moan about it.
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