Personal dreams however exciting are simply the landmarks to the permanency of reality! (Poem)

By Stanley Collymore

Didn’t I once hear you openly, rather insistently and quite

categorically say that from your own personal point of

view that realistically there was no conceivable way

you’d ever allow yourself to emotionally fall in

love and, furthermore, that being the proud,

independent and strong-minded woman

which you obviously are would you

ever assent, and these were your

identical words: “Physically subvert myself or my

integral being to any living man and in so doing,

and for the rest of my allotted life, become

nothing more than a highly suitable and,

in reality, a typically handy conveyor

belt deliverer of his much desired

and naturally predictable biological offspring;

to whom I would, of course, immediately

and intuitively become the noticeably

appreciative, constantly doting and

ever buoyant mother, while at the

same time and long-sufferingly,

but with no allowed practised

career of my own, regularly

administering at home as his every ready job’s

disaster or career concerns attentive ear, and

all this associated with my painstakingly

choreographed and earnestly socially

encouraged public role as the lace

curtain and fashionable woman

cum loving and dutiful wife.

For as I vividly and somewhat amusingly recall when you

voluntarily of your own accord made that emphatic and

uncompromising statement of yours that seemingly,

essentially and securely, permanently closed the

door and all other options in relation to your

development of any essential or emotional

relationship with anyone of the opposite

gender, even though it was absolutely

clear to anyone possessed of a perceptive brain and

firmly equipped with a competent awareness of

such things that you were not by any stretch

of the most creative of imaginations either

disposed towards becoming or far worst

and in such complex circumstances,

were actually a practising lesbian.

All the same were distinctly a woman who was very much

in your prime, twenty-eight years old at the time, long

out of your distinctly personality-establishing and

teenaged rebellious years, and furthermore at

that age appropriately, as one would quite

unsurprisingly expect, a matured lady

in every respect, who was wise and independently

carving out a career for herself that was wholly

of her own preferring, and whose amazing

progress, exceptional development and

truly magnificent achievement had

nothing whatever to do with the

direct influence or, for come

to that the personal control

of any one-person, other

than of course yourself.

So why then, and out of understandable curiosity

on my part I must confess, did you renege on

essentially everything you formerly and

solemnly said and even persuasively

signposted that you determinedly

believed? And, instead, now

seem to be gratuitously and contradictorily

embracing the identical things that you

once considered were so extremely

antipathetic to the very concept

of the lifestyle you formerly,

distinctly and positively

confirmed to persons

like myself was the

solitary one that

you wanted to

always live.

Your right, of course as it is everyone else’s

on whatever matter that infiltrates their

thoughts, to change your mind, as

long as you make the effort to

remember that regardless

of how exciting personal dreams

seem to be, they’re none the

less purely the landmarks

to the permanency of

one’s own reality!

© Stanley V. Collymore

18 October 2017.

Author’s Remarks:

Whatever one might think of the biblical story relating to Adam and Eve the good Lord, from my Christian understanding of it, did not impose any divine prescription, which he evidently could have done had he wanted to, that these two individuals should necessarily pair up with each other and therefore rather shrewdly and pragmatically on His part allowed a free choice of a relationship between the two of them, which would basically be a matter entirely of their own. And that’s exactly what occurred, and therefore the consequences of their actions rested solely with themselves.

And it’s the same situation with every one of us. For we’re all of us endowed with a personal brain and the capacity from birth to be able to think for ourselves. Granted that this is clearly a developmental process that can be influenced by others. But ostensibly as one gets older and presumably wiser the choice is still there pertaining to whether as an individual you choose to actually think for yourself and objectively, as a result, make your own informed decisions in relation to all aspects of your personal and professional lives or instead prefer, for whatever reasons, to allow others to do that for you.

But even so, while we all have dreams of one sort or another and are perfectly entitled to live and explore them irresponsibly allowing them to dictate every aspect of one’s everyday life is not only a grave mistake, it’s also the height of folly. And getting emotionally and physically involved with another person for all the mistaken reasons is just as stupid really as assuming that one can cut oneself permanently off from reality and then call that living a normal life.

But a word of caution. Whether you get involved with someone or choose to stay single and unattached that decision, if it’s to really make any sense, should be yours alone. And if you select to become part of a couple that doesn’t necessarily mean or should it in any way make you cease to be the individual that you actually are. Unless, of course, you purposely decide that you want to become another person’s personal doormat!

So do remember, and constantly so, that in everything you personally do individual choice and basic common sense should be your faithful watchword and guiding principle. After all it’s your life! So why let someone, or others, supposedly or arguably, even with the best of intentions, arbitrarily live it for you? Your decision. And the best of luck in making it.

Throughout all this and taking full cognizance of the realization that the intuitive or conscious decision by you not to trust or get personally or emotionally implicated with anyone might in actuality stem from the direct influence of the traumatic experiences you’ve undergone at the hands of sexual predators and/or abusers, whether they’re serial or otherwise, ongoing still or are incidences of the past, while not an abuser myself nor could I ever imagine myself being one far less so permit anybody to ever have taken such a diabolical liberty with me and then because of the power and influence they wield or buttressed by whatever sick reasoning that their likeminded verminous supporters or encouragers can come up with to justify or absolve their vile actions and then have the gall to ludicrously and insultingly posit these as “plausible excuses” and therefore on my part can’t honestly profess, nor would I ever attempt to do so, that I truthfully know how you feel or what it is that you’re personally going through as a result of this onerous travesty of brazen injustice gratuitously inflicted on you, the answer I do know is not to shut yourself permanently away from the consequences of reality that you suffered and in all likelihood still endure.

For in doing so you merely hand victory to your abusers and unwittingly through this de facto process grant them carte blanche to carry on controlling the terms and conditions of your life. And quite honestly after all that they’ve malevolently done is that seriously what you want to happen?