By Ashanti Martin
Now that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are living in Los Angeles, hopefully, she is recovering from what she has described as tremendous emotional distress and damage to her mental health." (The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are in a legal row with British tabloids over their years of rumor -mongering and vicious attacks.) Even though the royal family's usual response to accusations that they weren't giving Meghan a fair shake is "no comment," we can glean a lot from what sources inside and out of Buckingham Palace have said.
By any indication, Meghan dealt with more than possibly any new member of the royal family ever experienced -- maybe even Princess Diana.
There was the racism -- which may have shocked some people, given we're in the 21st century -- but the British monarchy has remained almost exclusively white for centuries. (There was a Black queen dating back to 1761, believe it or not.) Anyone who acknowledges that racism is still a global issue wouldn't be surprised at the backlash against Meghan's ascendance to her royal role.
Then there were the double standards between how Meghan was treated -- in the press and in Buckingham Palace -- compared to Kate Middleton. The Duchess of Cambridge escaped a lot of the hurtful stuff that critics threw at Meghan. (That had to hurt.) The idea that Meghan was somehow responsible for Prince Harry's frayed relationship with Prince William and the rest of the family was also pernicious. When the couple announced their departure from the UK, Meghan was portrayed as a, well palace-wrecker.
Is it because she is a woman of color? A Hollywood star? An ambitious career woman? Probably, a combination of those and more. Let's take a look at all the times Meghan -- for whatever reason -- was the subject of the royal family's ire.
Kate & Harry Had a Confrontation About Meghan
Kate Middleton was reportedly "gentle" in her concerns about bringing Meghan Markle into the royal family -- but she still took the time to warn Harry that he may not be making the right decision. It's kind of ironic, since the Duchess of Cambridge was referred to quite a bit as "Commoner Kate" when her marriage to Prince William was announced in 2010. (Maybe she was speaking from experience?) We don't know, but the whole episode seemed to set a tone from the start that Meghan just couldn't fit in.
A Pact to Control Meghan?
It's entirely possible that Kate's conversation warning Harry about bringing Meghan into the family stemmed from the alleged secret alliance between the Queen and Kate. Reportedly, the Queen had concerns about Meghan doing something to jeopardize her royal title and enlisted Kate to try to guide -- or control, depending on how ya look at it -- Meghan. We know now that Meghan isn't one to be controlled.
That didn't work out so well.
Meghan & Harry Urged to Leave Kensington Palace
When Meghan and Harry moved out of Kensington Palace to Frogmore Cottage in Windsor, some speculated it was because they wanted more privacy. But one report from an anonymous source suggests that it was at the Queen's urging. "She didn't point fingers or start making accusations but in her own diplomatic way suggested that they'd be happier living outside the palace, and they'd be better off moving."
We have no doubt that Meghan and Harry were seeking more privacy - but also completely believe that it could have been at the Queen's "diplomatic" urging.
No One Defended Meghan From Bullying
Kate endured her share of criticism when she became a royal, but nothing like the nastiness that Meghan received from the British press and others from the moment it was announced she would be marrying Harry.
Would Kate have been treated differently? Would the royal family have insisted on changes? Meghan thinks so, and in fact, Harry implored the Queen to do something but his requests fell on deaf ears.
Meghan & Harry Were Excluded From a VIP Procession
One might expect that Harry and Meghan would have joined William and Kate in the formal procession at the Commonwealth Day service in 2020. But the program had only Prince Charles, Camila, and William and Kate entering together before the Queen.
It's an obvious omission, and just plain weird.
William and Kate tried to paper over the awkwardness by joining Harry and Meghan, but the stage had been set. So had the programs -- there was no time to print new ones, making the disparity even more obvious. So much for a gracious exit from royal duties!
Princess Diana's Jewelry Was Off-Limits to Meghan
So much jewelry drama in this family! To be honest, we'd also be clawing to wear some of Princess Diana's legendary baubles if we had access. (We'd expect it.) Sadly, there was no such thing for Meghan. Upset over some of Meghan's perceived efforts to buck royal convention, the Queen refused Meghan access to the collection -- and she even had Prince Charles deliver the bad news!
Must have been a real slap in the face for Meghan, especially as she watched Kate wear some of Diana's priceless accessories.
Sweeping Racism Issues Under the Rug
It's probably too much to ask a monarchy dating back to the ninth century to change its ways when it comes to social issues, but times have changed, and it would be refreshing to see the royal family take a progressive stance when it comes to racism.
Rather than stand firm against the racist taunts that Meghan endured, the Queen acquiesced to Megxit, afraid she would perhaps expose some of the microaggressions Meghan no doubt experienced as a senior royal. As is the case with this family, drama is often swept under the rug - at the expense of taking a stand on one of the most important social issues of our time.
Being Branded 'Difficult' by Palace Staff
It must have been hard for Meghan to get ahead of the name calling and the criticism in the press when her own staff -- the people who are supposed to support her -- are reportedly lobbing their own barbs. "Duchess of Difficult" was one thing, but "Me-Gain"? That's downright mean. (We admit though that it's kind of a creative burn.) It must have been especially isolating for Meghan to try to work with people who just didn't get her.
She Was the Subject of Vague Attacks
Sometimes, the most harmful gossip is the sort that doesn't even get into specifics. From the start, Meghan has been the subject of "rumblings" and "speculation" -- accusations that serve only to smear her and tarnish her overall reputation.
Just four days after her marriage to Harry, Meghan's behavior at Prince Charles' 70th birthday celebration apparently left attendees "astonished" and "gobsmacked." We don't know why -- and how is Meghan supposed to correct her behaviour if she doesn't even know what she's doing wrong? It's a tough spot we wouldn't want to find ourselves in.
Racist Jewelry Sends a Terrible Message
With one terrible fashion choice, Princess Michael of Kent simultaneously disrespected Meghan and showed the world the ugly side of Britain's history. The blackamoor brooch she wore to the Queen's Christmas luncheon is an emblem that fetishizes slavery and celebrates colonialism. The minor royal had already been known for several unseemly racist incidents, so, understandably, the world questioned whether her choice was intentional. Regardless, it is a hurtful symbol that should have no place in any respectful royal's attire in the 21st century.
Buckingham Palace May Have Leaked Megxit News
When the news broke that Meghan and Harry were leaving England for the US, it seemed like they had made their decision unequivocally. But was their hand forced? Film producer Tom Bradby, who attended the Sussex wedding, claims that the royal family leaked news of the split before the couple was ready. "There is no doubt Harry and Meghan feel they have been driven out," Bradby said. Even though the split was absolutely shocking and unprecedented, the Queen seemed to acquiesce quickly. Who knows, it may be that their departure came too late for the royal family.
Prince William May Have Bullied Meghan & Harry
The feud between Prince Harry and Prince William became so heated in the press that the pair issued a statement of unity after Megxit was announced. Between Kate micromanaging Meghan at the Queen's behest, and William ribbing his brother about the difficulties his marriage was causing the royal family, Meghan couldn't escape the feeling that she was being bullied and controlled. It must have been doubly as difficult knowing that the marriage caused a rift between brothers who'd once been so tight, and suffered so much together under the limelight.
Being Told She Wasn't Keeping Up Appearances
Another example of glaring hypocrisy: all the times Meghan supposedly violated royal fashion rules, while Kate escaped criticism. Whether she wore wedge heels, dark nail polish, or short skirts, Meghan was regularly ripped for her fashion choices in the British press. We're sure members of the royal family shared at least some of those opinions. They certainly did nothing to defend Meghan against the accusations while Kate slipped by living her best bare-shouldered, barefoot life.
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