The sexual disillusionment of a virgin who waited pragmatically to be deflowered!



By Stanley Collymore

Did he have any idea whatsoever, I ended up asking

myself, as to what he was doing? For I must say

I was wholly confused by it all throughout our

fleeting and dispiriting sexual affair. And

as far as his patently ham-fisted shenanigans

were concerned I was also evidently perplexed by

them! He who brashly but now it would appear

artlessly made himself out to be the assured

and vastly experienced lover, yet in reality

not having a solitary idea of what was

sexually expected of him, much less

so what to actually do in a wholly

collaborative situation like that

one, that for the love of God

we had rather deliberately,

in anticipation, and most

embarrassingly as well,

at any rate for me, did

result in placing me

securely in the very

awkward state of

affairs that quite

appallingly I’d

imprudently

put myself

firmly in.

18 years old I was and I’d wilfully lingered this long prior

to my freely and expectantly, in the given and entirely

controlled circumstances I’d consciously created

for me, decide to surrender myself to any man,

since I wanted when eventually I had chosen

through sexual intercourse to dispose of

my purposely guarded chastity that it

would absolutely be with someone

who, very unlike me, was vastly experienced sexually;

extraordinarily accomplished in the art of seduction

and pleasurable lovemaking and, of course, knew

precisely what he was undertaking in my case:

literally and figuratively blooding an utterly

receptive and healthy young woman that

in pragmatic and carnal terms moreover

though an exceptionally willing and

bona fide virgin was nevertheless

in coital terms a relative sexual

novice, which I suspected he

would already have guessed,

and that I now willingly

and honestly confess

to you that I was.

That essentially and until this carnal tryst between him

and me I’d embargoed sex with everyone, deliberately

and expectantly waiting in earnest anticipation for

what I truly regarded not only to be a romantic

but additionally and most fundamentally too

the essential virile, marvellously sexually

experienced and what I further saw as

the ideal man for me. Clearly, someone that unquestionably

and in terms of myself instinctively knew what I wanted

and furthermore was prepared to go out of his way to

concertedly ensure that I got it. And so unlike most

other girls in my general social ambit, either

incapable of or unwilling to exercise such

prudent discretion I, on the other hand,

was most willing and also prepared to imaginatively

postpone my sexual inauguration, while in the

meantime rather compensatorily, but oh so

pleasurably and satisfactorily all the

same, relieving my progressive

and intensive sexual urges

that were predictably

ongoing, through

habitual acts of

masturbation.

So I could not have been more elated when pleasurably

and totally unexpected for me, but truthfully all the

same I freely admit, and with all the rapturous

anticipation a passionately yearning woman

after an inordinately long wait such as my

own could envisage, muster or deliver

at avidly encouraging myself to be

uncompromisingly, consistently

and even savagely mated as I happily thought at the

time when he came along. For there he was built

like a well-rehearsed, fully knowledgeable

and purposely committed stallion, and

so maddeningly erotic with it, there

was no way I could possibly have either avoided or resisted

what I was challengingly faced with, even if I’d wanted

to, which I most certainly didn’t; and besides having

already and inescapably been visibly seduced by

him, my love-juices liberally and unrestrictedly

flowing and me spontaneously thrust into a

permissive situation where I was entirely

besides myself with unimpeded lust, I

had in effect willingly become that

corresponding and submissively

compliant mare that in eager

anticipation was most keen

to ardently copulate with

her robust stallion and,

as such, I just could

not wait for him to

correspondingly

stimulate me too, as he

unreservedly, ardently

and impatiently for

me, embarked on

the congenial

task of him

fucking

me.

So in a heated and unashamedly libidinous

anticipation of what I yearningly wished

for and realistically expected would

single-mindedly happen to me by

him and conducted in the most

persevering and sedulously

lustful manner that not

only me but also any

similar coition-craving female could creatively

and welcomingly perceive, and additionally

fully cognizant too that my now swollen

breasts, their rigidly erect nipples and

my palpably bloated clitoris, guardedly

perched atop my unmistakably gaping

vagina that sensually, unstoppably

and liberally was gushing forth

its own pithy contribution of

carnal outpouring, it was

unquestionably, I happily

persuaded myself, the

critical moment of

the long anticipated

wholly liberating

and momentous

beginning to

a euphoric

dawning.

And in this conjoined process of “les zones érogènes”

that summarily and unchallenged heralded in the

acute and prolonged escalation of lubricious

passion that thoroughly and altogether

transformationally swept through

my entire body and whose

overall effect, I freely

admit, involuntarily, but most pleasurably too

as my mind focused on him, successfully,

conspiratorially and most happily in

all of this triggered a succession

of highly intensive and hectic orgasms in me

that induced no other personal desire than

for me to willingly submit; and since

I wasn’t in any way intimidated by

anything and furthermore fully

appreciated everything that

was happening to me and

consequently there was

nowt amiss, why on

earth then would

I pragmatically

have wished

to resist?

But he most effectively ruined all that, and in

the process of doing so he not only made

me feel but also look like a prized prat!

For while he was decidedly keen to

charge at, mount, essay to and

eventually with his colossal

salami penetrate and brutishly ramrod my sopping twat

with the inelegant finesse of a bull in a China shop,

his frenzied and ungainly sorties inside my pussy

immediately and unceremoniously brought the

curtains down on my earlier, ludicrous and

manifestly fetched fantasies about him;

with me now earnestly wishing that

he would hurriedly discharge his

seminal load and finally relieved

of it, and doing the decent thing,

promptly dismount from my

body; and afterwards with

categorically no further

chance ever given to

him of being able

to have sex with

me just leave.

And true to form this self-centred narcissist, even

though I’d not mentioned any of this to him out

of personal embarrassment to my self, none

the less faithfully delivered on my silent

request as I’d fervently but all the same

humiliatingly hoped he would. For

shortly afterwards as if privy to

my unwavering aspiration that he forthwith terminated

his ham-fisted copulation of me, I felt him forcefully

seize hold of me and in this vice-like grip of his

that he frenziedly now exerted on me, plunged

his phallus energetically into my womb. A

few sporadic jerks from him afterwards

as it embedded itself there; a grunt

of contented pleasure too to my

accompanying disguised sigh

of relief that my emotional

nightmare as was my

sexual ordeal were

fortunately at

last over.

Barring the finalities that is; for despite him shooting his

sizeable load of cum inside of me and which frankly

was the only really substantial thing he’d successfully

managed to achieve I must say, he nevertheless

expressed his keen intention of staying indefinitely

on top of me and with his penis encased at the

same time within my fanny – triggering a

reflexive emotional consternation but

all the same verbally unexpressed

response from me that instantly

surged through my mind of

no way, not that day or at

any other time! For in the far from comfortable and

unsatisfactory situation that I was evidently in, it

made no sense whatever to me and therefore

wasn’t what I wanted him to do; and so I

convincingly persuaded him, as I also

encouragingly, lyingly and physically

assisted him in quite acceleratedly

dismounting from my body, that

pleasurably as it previously was

having him lying recumbent

on top of me, I needed at

that particular moment

however, to urgently

and unavoidably

get myself off

to the loo.

He readily accepted what I said but before I

could manage to vacate the bed we shared

he rather pathetically and egotistically

asked how it had been for me sexually.

I smiled winsomely. “What do you

think?” I purred dishonestly and

non-committedly. “Good!” he

responded effusively. Patronizingly adding: “It’s

not every day that a most charming and clearly

heterosexual young woman like you quite

consciously and so practicably opts to

relinquish her virginity as you have

done to the right and obviously a

vastly experienced man like me.

Make a bad decision and she

could so easily end up being

emotionally scarred for the

remainder of her life, repulsed by

sex and never able to fulfil her

romantic dreams.” I smiled

guardedly and answered

sardonically: “Yes; as

it happens, I know

precisely what

you mean!”

© Stanley V. Collymore

28 October 2015.

The Author’s Remarks:

This is the real-life story, personally recounted to me and with the acquired permission of the lady involved to encapsulate it in a poem, of a heterosexual virgin who for her own pragmatic reasons – nothing to do with putting off having sex until she was married or any of those hackneyed moral reasons employed by supposed good girls for not getting laid but everything to do with having herself properly mated and thoroughly satisfied on her first sexual outing when that occurred, and therefore with total self-restraint intentionally eschewed having sexual intercourse with any man as she resolutely waited for her version of the right man to come along and unabashed deflower her. Only to be acutely disappointed and herself personally mortified by the reality of what happened to her when she eventually chose to voluntarily surrender her virginity. Throughout the retelling of this story I’ve carefully sought to retain its raw spirit, imagery and authenticity without which the poem would have been utterly meaningless and therefore have provided no good reason for me to write it.

Français: Ceci est l’histoire de la vie réelle personnellement raconté à moi et avec la permission acquis de la dame impliquée de l’encapsuler dans un poème d’une vierge hétérosexuels qui, pour ses propres raisons pragmatiques – rien à voir avec la mise hors d’avoir des relations sexuelles jusqu’ à ce qu’elle soit mariée ou l’une de ces raisons morales écules employées par soi-disant bonnes filles pour ne pas être licencies, mais tout à voir avec le fait elle-même correctement accouplés et complètement convaincu, sur sa première sortie sexuelle quand cela a eu lieu, et donc avec la maîtrise de soi totale intentionnellement évite d’avoir des rapports sexuels avec tout l’homme comme elle résolument attendait sa version de l’homme droit de venir et éhontée sa déflorée. Seulement être gravement déçu et se personnellement mortifié par la réalité de ce qui lui est arrive quand elle a finalement décide de se rendre volontairement sa virginité. Tout au long du récit de cette histoire, je l’ai soigneusement cherché à conserver son esprit brut, l’imagerie et l’authenticité sans laquelle le poème aurait été tout à fait dénué de sens et ont donc fourni aucune bonne raison pour moi de l’écrire.

Deutsch: Dies ist die wahre Geschichte persoenlich zu mir und mit dem erworbenen Erlaubnis der Dame beteiligt, um es in einem Gedicht eines heterosexuellen Jungfrau, die zu ihrem eigenen pragmatischen Gruenden einzukapseln erzaehlt – nichts mit Ablegen Sex, bis sie verheiratet war oder nicht einer dieser abgedroschene moralischen Gruenden von vermeintlich guten Maedchen fuer nicht beschaeftigt, sich mit insgesamt Selbstsbeschraenkung festgelegt, sondern alles, was mit mit zu tun sich selbst richtig gepaart und an ihrem ersten sexuellen Ausflug sehr zufrieden, wenn das eingetreten ist, und deshalb absichtlich vermied Geschlechtsverkehr mit jeder Mann, als sie entschieden wartete auf ihre Version der richtige Mann zu kommen und ungeniert entjungfert sie. Nur akut entaeuscht sein und sich persoenlich von der Realitaet dessen, was mit ihr passiert ist, als sie schliesslich entschied sich freiwillig ergeben ihre Jungfraeulichkeit gedemuetigt. Waehrend der gesamten Nacherzaehlung dieser Geschichte habe ich sorgfaeltig bemueht, ihre rohen Geist, Bildsprache und Authentizitaet, ohne die das Gedicht waere voellig sinnlos gewesen und haben daher haben keinen guten Grund versehen fuer mich, es zu schreiben zu behalten.