Nothing ventured; well you know the rest of it!



By Stanley Collymore

Forgive me, but could I be impertinent and ask you a

personal favour? I imagine that your mother must

have warned you when you were a girl growing

up not to talk to men who are strangers to you,

but I swear I wouldn’t have approached

you in this direct manner if I didn’t need to.

My problem is that I’m petrified of flying,

and since there’s no other practical way

of getting to Barbados except than

by flying there you can see

the predicament that

I’m currently in.

Colleagues and even friends of mine have told

me I should take a couple of strong alcoholic

drinks before take-off and that would calm

my nerves, but I’m a teetotaller, have

been all my life, and don’t know

which is worst: the fear of flying or

the after effects of consuming

alcoholic beverages that

I’m obviously not

accustomed to.

So will you be a pal, and as our seats are next

to each other, I wasn’t eavesdropping but

overheard your conversation with

the check-in clerk, let me hold on to you for

reassurance during take-off and until the

aircraft is safely in the air and the pilot

has charted its course successfully,

allowing me the opportunity to

chart mine with you?

© Stanley V. Collymore

20 October 2013.

Die Erlaeurterung:

Fuer meine Freundin Kerstin Lorenz aus Hessen; zum Gedenken an unsere unvergesslichen Ferien in der Karibik: 30 September bis 28 Oktober 1999, und fuer gebend auf unsere Nacht-Ruckreise nach Deutschland eine unverwechselbare einzigartige Auslegung von was in fliegend den Buchstabe „f“ tatsaeschlich steht fuer. Der Spass! Was sonsts nocht? Ihr Menschen mit einer schmutzigen Fantasie! (Lachen). Danke mein Schaetzchen; Du bist prima! Besonders seit von Anfang an wusstest du, dass ich keine Angst vor fliegend hatte. Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum vierzehnten Jahrestag! Bis bald.

English Translation:

For my friend Kerstin Lorenz from Hesse in commemoration of our memorable vacation in the Caribbean: 30 September to 28 October 1999, and for giving a distinctively unique interpretation on our night return to Germany of what the “f” in flying actually stands for. Fun! What else you filthy-minded so and soes? Thanks Love; you’re terrific! Especially since you knew from the outset that I have no fear of flying. Happy 14^th Anniversary. See