THE BLOODY CHEEK OF IT ALL!

By Stanley Collymore

There’s a psychological condition called Stockholm Syndrome where the victims of abuse, which is usually quite serious, severe and sustained and can include acts of torture and kidnapping, often and rather incomprehensibly to intelligent minds identify as well as closely come to empathize with their abusers. This condition now appears to be rife among just as it likewise afflicts large swathes of the British and American populace that seems to revel in it.

For why else would they masochistically tolerate to the extent they do and even injudiciously invite into their lives the calculated and systematic abuse of all kinds routinely meted out to them by their elected representatives and publicly remunerated officials, actions that are intentionally carried out at the behest of the ever increasingly powerful and influential Czars of the multinational corporations, big businesses generally, the banks and the military industrial complex that these immensely corrupt and venal public and parliamentary figures readily genuflect to?

Proving most conclusively, I think, that these electorates on both sides of the Atlantic justly deserve the governments that they either rather selfishly or more likely stupidly or ill-informed voted for and therefore are wholly undeserving, from any conceivable rational perspective that is, of any sympathy or understanding for the persistent abuse that they obviously court and as a result ultimately get from those whom they elect to public offices.

Britain like many other allegedly developed countries is going through a severe period of austerity and the reasons are quite well known to anyone with a functioning brain in his or her head or who hasn’t recently migrated here from some planet located in the far-reaches of the universe.

Most of that austerity and the purported though I prefer to call them disingenuous measures to curb it have predictably fallen on the poor, the disadvantaged, the elderly, benefit recipients, the low paid, out of work, single parents and everyone else come to that apart from the rich, the privileged and the well-heeled, who conversely are doing quite well out of it as a matter of fact.

A situation which has seen our elderly dying in their homes from the freezing cold because they simply can’t afford the ever increasing and extravagant cost of heating them; mothers having to choose between paying their bills and feeding their children; and where even in some instances are severely tempted and actually succumb to shoplifting in order to do so but when caught committing this crime forced on them through necessity are increasingly discovering the praiseworthy altruism of some of our policemen and women, who instead of charging them take them instead to charitable food banks where they can get the basics to stop their children from starving in 21^st Century Britain.

Food banks that regrettably are becoming vitally essential in a country that ranks among the world’s 5th richest, although you wouldn’t know that; for so totally inequitable is wealth distribution within the United Kingdom. Against that backdrop there are bright students who can’t go to university and hopefully improve their life’s chances even though they’re well qualified to do so, simply because they can’t afford the exorbitant and escalating tuition fees that are now commonplace.

While those at the very bottom of our socio-economic ladder increasingly observe with dismay their lawful entitlements to benefits, state pensions and the like, and their only means of survival vastly curtailed. And who by? Our elected and snouts in the troughs MPs. Who not counting the expenses they claim, whether genuinely or more commonly as is the case fraudulently so, and while preaching austerity to the rest of us that they don’t see is relevant to themselves already get a salary in excess of £65,000 Pounds Sterling.

Then on top of that can, and very often do, take on other highly paid jobs as so-called consultants and the like within the private sector; many of these lucrative positions being in reality nothing more than sinecures to buy their influence as legislators and which many of our MPs have no compunction at all in venally flogging to the highest bidders.

Yet these are the very same people who want to award themselves a whopping 32% pay rise, which they’re perfectly entitled to do, and are the only employees I know of that can do this, on the rather ludicrous assumption that the £65,000 Pounds plus basic salary they get is not enough and they can’t manage on it.

How bloody greedy and totally insensitive, particularly at this time of austerity and also bearing in mind that the mess we’re in is largely their incompetent fault, can one get; I ask you? What planet are these people living on from the rest of us?

So try explaining that, you bunch of dishonourable nerds and a far cry from the “honourable” epithet that in your self-adulatory manner you routinely and quite nauseatingly pat yourselves on the back with during your puerile House of Commons charade, to the elderly dying of cold; the mother who can’t afford to feed her kids and pay her household bills at the same time; the unemployed forced to languish on benefits and viciously vilified as scroungers, or the millions of other Britons in low paid or extremely insecure jobs and very much at the vagaries of well-known and even long established firms that are closing because of the recession or moving abroad to minimize their chances of also going bust.

Decent and industrious householders who increasingly are finding it difficult to make ends meet and are more and more asking themselves why they alone must make sacrifices, highly questionably and supposedly for the benefit of the country, while avaricious cheats and snouts-in-the-troughs villains like you their elected parliamentary representatives, who like rapacious locusts infest our parliament, see yourselves as deserving to be treated differently.

For where Honourable Members of Parliament (I most certainly don’t think!) does venal and corrupt self-interest end and service to your respective constituents who elected you to work on their behalf specifically and that of the good of our country in general begin?

Finally I’d like to say to Barack Obama butt out of the UK’s domestic affairs! Whether we decide to stay in the EU or leave it through a domestic referendum is none of your bloody business or that of Americans per se. That’s our decision alone to make!

You won’t tolerate for a solitary moment such unwarranted interference in your country’s domestic affairs nor would any other American either so stay out of ours; even though the lot of you through the actions of our subservient and biddable legislators here in the United Kingdom, who’ve pushed their respective heads so far up your collective US asses that one can unmistakably detect the shit on their ankles, have arrogantly come to think that Britain is the 51^st state of your union.

We’re not!

And unless or until we vote to do so, please attend to the myriad of things that you can otherwise be constructively doing in the USA, like closing down your barbaric gulag at Guantanamo Bay; reining in your idiotic gun culture; indulging in your puerile, aberrantly obsessive and ludicrously pathetic macho drone savagery; needlessly attacking and invading other peoples’ countries and acquisitively plundering their natural resources; giving free comprehensive or at least decent healthcare to the in excess of 36 millions of your fellow Americans that like the rest of us are living in the 21^st Century but additionally in what’s supposedly the world’s richest and most powerful country are nevertheless without such basic medical provisions.

Barbados, Cuba and Venezuela successfully manage to universally give free and comprehensive medical care from the cradle to the grave to their citizens, don’t see any problem with that and what is more and aren’t anywhere near as affluent as the United States is. So why is that Barack Obama? I’ll tell you! It’s because the governments in these countries put the interests of their population far ahead of those of the big-money vested interests, fraudulent banks; the military industrial complex, manipulative lobbyists, corrupt and extremely acquisitive so-called legislators that routinely look out only for number one, namely themselves, and pusillanimous or even corrupt presidents that go along with the system because they too couldn’t give a darn about the ordinary man or woman on the street except to exploit them for their own political gain, as you’ve done Barack.

And you want to know something else Barack; Barbados, Cuba and Venezuela are in actuality light years ahead of your own country, the United States of America both in terms of their morality and maturity.

So from someone that passionately and committedly campaigned for you during your first bid to be President of the United States of America but quickly became disappointed with and disillusioned by you as you’re much worse than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney combined ever were, and who I wouldn’t piss on if you were on fire and that was the sole emergency measure to extinguish that fire, please do me a great big favour: screw up the United States as much as you like; people like me have long stopped caring what goes on there anyway, but leave Britain alone.

We’ve already got enough lousy politicians of our own in the UK without us countenancing a bloody foreigner sticking his unwanted oar in, no matter how impregnable he thinks that he or his country is. For the way I see it Barack you haven’t anything positive to say on anything.

The European Union was a brilliant idea and one which from the very outset I fully welcomed and supported, since the opportunity now provided for us or our mainland equivalents to freely and quite unhindered by national red tape take our skills and abilities that might be in abundance in our own countries but were nevertheless in short supply elsewhere across the EU appealed considerably to me and was something that I made the most of; and there were many other benefits to be derived as well from being in the European Union.

However, rather than build on these positive elements and constructively move forward the EU has instead become a bureaucratic nightmare and an enormously corruptive influence on the lives of the vast majority of ordinary Europeans and that includes us Britons. Yes we do periodically elect MEPs that are supposed to look after our general interests, but they predictably like their counterparts in the respective national parliaments, and particularly so in the UK, have for the most part become snouts in the troughs with one principal and uncompromising objective, to feather their own financial nests at any costs. And they’ve developed their thievery and corruption to such a degree that the EU hasn’t been able to sign off its accounts for in excess of a decade now because no firm of accountants, and that even includes the dodgy ones who evidently are likewise of the view as are the decent ones that they have a reputation to protect, would touch them with a barge pole.

So the European Parliament doesn’t really have any clout and quite frankly couldn’t care less about that just so long as the dosh keeps rolling in to its members’ bank accounts. Consequently it’s really, this EU charade, the plaything of the unelected, mysteriously appointed and unaccountable European Commission of bureaucratic, highly incompetent, corrupt, imperialistically minded and venal control freaks, who obediently take their orders from the United States and since the countries they originate from are all part of the North Atlantic Terrorist Organization, aka NATO, which they’re commitedly signed up to, use that terrorist entity to routinely bludgeon those countries, invariably in the global south that refuse to bend to their coercive will, preferring instead to exercise their own independence and sovereign integrity, and whose natural resources these Caucasian Crusaders have covetously set their eyes on and as its their customary wont have no compunction whatsoever in taking by force.

Therefore one can clearly see where Barack Obama is odiously coming from. For a Britain willing to exercise its own independence and not be a part any longer of what’s evidently become a glaring and useless charade for the most part could effectively put a spoke in the US’s wheel and even give other Europeans food for thought and a spur to do the same. So like all dishonest US Presidents he wheels out the so-called special relationship which only a total nerd or a completely idiotic sycophant of the highest order actually thinks exists between the United States and Britain; for there’s no such special relationship. And what relationship there is, is akin to that of an overbearing boss who has a biddable secretary working for him, who habitually pulls down his trousers when he wants her to suck or toss him off as he sits in his plush, office armchair and she gets down on the floor on bended knees to do whatever he demands of her. The sort of thing that some US Presidents are also known to have done!

And it doesn’t take a genius to work out what Britain’s role is in this largely one-sided relationship it presently participates in with the United States of America. Quite intimate and evidently predatorily opportunistic at the behest of the latter when it desires to be indulged certainly; but hardly what one might deem to be a respectful or caring association by any sort of a realistic definition of that word.

When I served in the Royal Air Force I was told that I could openly speak my mind to any of my senior officers including the Air Chief Marshall if I wanted to and what’s more could in the process be as forthright and downright insulting to any of them as I wished so long as I suffixed my insults with the word “Sir.” I think it’s the same in the US military.

But like all armchair generals or Commanders-in-Chief who’ve never worn their country’s uniform for real or in combat, you being one of them Barack, that’s why they’re so bloody enthusiastic about fighting your senseless wars and so readily disposed to defending your twisted patriotism to the last drop of somebody else’s blood, as it’s all just a bloody Play Station type, computer game to the likes of you anyway, since the actual fighting and the horrors of war is something which you and your ilk make quite certain that you, your families and friends never have to personally face. And therefore a situation you wouldn’t know anything about let alone be able to sensibly appreciate, however macho sounding you appear to be before the TV cameras.

So to facilitate keeping the office of our Director of Public Prosecutions here in England sweet and not gratuitously break any of its obscenity rules while simultaneously being absolutely faithful to my former Grammar School English Master: the late, great and much esteemed Dr. Kenneth Doughlin, who conscientiously drilled it into my fellow students and me that “there’s no such thing as good or bad English just appropriate and inappropriate English”, citing his famous examples of two instances of inappropriate English which I’ll use here.

He pointed out that one wouldn’t respectfully, or sensibly for that matter, employ four letter words or other strong expletives while giving a speech of celebration at the wedding anniversary reception in honour of their parents as such an act would be most inappropriate. Just as inappropriate he said would be the case of someone doing a spot of DIY (Do It Yourself) at home and while in the process of hammering a nail into a piece of wood inadvertently misses the intended nail and most regrettably for that individual brings the hammer heavily down and most excruciatingly so on one or more digits of the hand that is holding the nail and alas receives the blow.

“I must tell you,” he emphasized, “it’ll be English of the most inappropriate kind if that person were to react by saying, oh dear me what a silly thing I’ve done!”

We all quite humorously but educationally got the picture and I’ve personally inculcated a great deal of this academically brilliant and clever man’s academic practices, techniques and perspective on life into my own teaching, journalistic and writing careers. So with that very uppermost in my mind as I scrupulously apply the customary code of ethics applicable as per my RAF days to a Commander-in-Chief, although you’re not a British one Barack, and besides I’m no longer a serving member of our Armed Forces, I’ll nevertheless say to you, as I’m absolutely sure Dr. Kenneth Doughlin would have approved in this particular context of my appropriate use of the English Language that we both loved immensely: “Fuck off Mr President, Sir! And in doing so kindly ask you to remember that Britain is a sovereign country; and crucially that’s how most Brits like me prefer it to be and want it to stay.”