By Stanley Collymore
From the very first moment that I saw you I instantly
became aware of the tremendous impact you were
having on me and which, as I gradually got to
know you, I insightfully realized was the
commencement of my love for you;
then as I suitably wrestled with
that welcoming thought it too quickly dawned on me that
you for your part were evincing reciprocal emotions for
me. Delightedly, I encouraged these; and buttressed
by my growing feeling for you, which you fully
endorsed with you sympathetic motivation, I
energizingly pressed on. Two individuals
in love with each other and, moreover,
most cheerfully and constructively
prepared to dauntlessly explore
the very enthralling and most
exhilarating possibility of
physically, in addition
to emotionally being
dedicated friends
and amorously
committed
lovers.
At the time both of us were young students enrolled at
the same university college and most propitiously
had discovered, as it happened, that we were
also on the identical course of study that
eventually on our individual and, of
course, successful graduation
would fittingly enable us to joyfully, eagerly and
constructively embark on our carefully chosen
careers as dedicated graduate teachers; fully
aware in our doing so of the multiple and
challengingly exciting responsibilities
which that prospective achievement
on our part would entail for both
of us as we accordingly set out
on a brand new start as part
of the expected and fully
acknowledged gamut
of the continuum of
our still decidedly
in progress but
exciting even
so personal
journey.
At last together romantically while simultaneously
and happily sharing the same study course that
would enable us to earnestly and properly
explore, adjust whenever this was
necessary, and most crucially
all through this academic process be that better
informed to scrutinizingly probe, precisely
complement, and also consolidate our
thoughtfully arrived at conjectural
theories, now through detailed
and scrupulous examination
adeptly transformed into
obviously irrefutable
conclusions, was
champion for
us entirely.
Absolutely inspirational and thoughtfully satisfying in
every possible way yet so uncomplicatedly engaged
in without any fuss; pleasurably and naturally
welcomed, warmly embraced and actively
encouraged by family members and
friends alike whose instinctive
trust in our individual and reciprocal choice
of each other as prospective spouse and
life long partner to each other were
appropriately matched by their profound, most
generous and heartfelt wishes that markedly
were unreservedly, plainly, altruistically
and comprehensively, fully manifest
in the process, merged with their
supportive allegiance to our
future, well-being and, of
course, our mutually
shared happiness.
Happy as two courting blackbirds willingly ensconced
in a Clammy Cherry tree and, accordingly, in our
very own fortunate and convivial environment
thoroughly composed and entirely carefree
in our promising and positively at home
situation as any two self-assured and,
metaphorically speaking, ardently attached love
birds deeply and devotedly in love with each
other could possibly be, we congratulated
each other on our shared good fortune;
none the less never forgetting in our
united celebration and privileged observance our
grateful thanks and profound appreciation to
God Almighty for graciously allowing us
to have and equally pleasurably enjoy
together this incredibly privileged
and fairly unique relationship
that together we had rather
fortuitously managed
to chance upon.
Our individual honours degree successfully completed
and our respective job interviews likewise finalized,
all that now remained before we commonly and
expectantly embarked on our particularized,
promising and encouragingly rewarding
teaching careers was our enormously
anticipated, joyously planned and
personally pledged to be unforgettable
graduation ceremony and celebration; the wonderful
encapsulation of everything, both productive and
enduringly transformative in our lives, that had
happily and thankfully transpired during our
course of study, our truly delightful times
together and, of course, the impending
expectations we reciprocally had not
only on account of us for the very
last time departing our learning
institution and understandably
reflectively musing on them
but also, as we confidently
and with the maximum
of self-assurance and
vigour, were about
to boldly venture
into the future.
Deeply in love, as evidently we were, we were all the
same equally quite matured and highly responsible
enough to know that marriage, home-building
and having children did not normally or, at
the very least, shouldn’t sensibly happen
accidentally or even purposely of their
own accord, but on the contrary had
to be both astutely, assiduously
and positively worked on if developing these objectives
were ultimately to be fruitfully achieved. And those
were the salient criteria that we most carefully
imbued and determinedly tasked ourselves
would be our personal and reciprocal
benchmark and that unwaveringly
from which we would never
ever permit ourselves
to consciously
depart!
But unknowingly and quite disastrously for us the omens
would and did ignobly conspire to ruin our brand new
start; for having purposely and mutually decided to
accept teaching positions at different schools, a
situation freely motivated by neither of us
wishing to metaphorically as it were get
under the other’s feet professionally
at the very beginning of our teaching careers,
that’s exactly what we went on and rather
consensually did. An altruistic move
but despite that, as subsequently
happened, one with very
unforeseen and dire
consequences.
For with my highly capable first aid training which was
markedly complemented by a vast amount of personal
experience that those who were present and actively
involved with my fiancée during that time in the
school’s gymnasium where she was working
in her dual capacity as a P.E. teacher didn’t,
of course, possess; I was explicably but
deeply regrettably not there to save
her life when ironically from a previously medically
undiagnosed and, as a result, an unconscious of
physical illness: namely epilepsy, triggered a
severe epileptic seizure which caused her
limp tongue to block the conduit to her
oesophagus. A state of affairs that in
trained and knowledgeable hands
would’ve been easily rectified
and thus have saved her life;
but in its place, and in the
visible absence of such
skilled assistance my
treasured fiancée
most unhappily
choked and
unluckily
died.
© Stanley V. Collymore
30 November 2015.
Author’s Remarks:
Lorna was 23 years old when she died and like the both of us was in her second year of teaching when that happened. A brilliant scholar, she was also a prolific and very talented poetess and from her school’s report an excellent teacher as well.
Sorely missed, deeply loved and forever remembered!