Marry Me! (Article)

By Stanley Collymore

I most readily and cheerfully confess to my having a wholly uncontrollable urge to marry you, and ever more so since I realized that the intense passion you’ve managed to inevitably generate in me is quite literally driving me crazy and, as a manifest and robust consequence of this, I’ve unmistakeably, unavoidably and likewise, in every other conceivable way, and not the slightest remiss in dutifully tackling this matter without unwarranted delay, I am enraptured to say, have satisfyingly and forever completely, it’s true, intensely fallen in love with you.

And when you charmingly told me that that is exactly how you also feel about me too, seriously, what other option could an exceptionally fortunate man, truthfully unable to believe his extraordinary luck honourably do in such fortuitous circumstances when richly gifted with what’s unquestionably, as you’ve always been, a most phenomenal woman; other than to carefully listen to and then take maximum understanding of that perceptive and utterly persuasive voice within, and euphorically entreat of you, the supreme gratification of his life, to award him the best distinction ever and become his wife.

In the earlier draft version of this poem and the accompanying article edition, I had initially contemplated entitling both versions of them: “Irreversible in love with you!” but after much consideration on my part and a most astute contribution on hers in a subsequent discussion on the matter with my female German Partner, we favourably, convivially, satisfactorily and mot extraordinarily amorously came to the definitive conclusion that this shorter, unequivocal and impactful title: “Marry Me” was most appropriate given the specific circumstances that the clearly besotted lover was in.

And, of course, that particular statement leaves no room for equivocation or any scope for misunderstanding. So please don’t use this poem or the article to anyone whom you think is having the same impact on you unless, I would advise, that your intentions are both serious and honourable. And with that in mind I wish you all the luck in the world in what you may well decide to embark upon.