Monday, 21 October 2013

Loving you doesn’t necessarily mean that I also like you!

By Stanley Collymore

Alright, so I’m in love with you; but to be equally honest I don’t
particularly like you. For what I emotionally and, I must also
stress, involuntarily feel for you and categorize as love I
have no control over and am simply a vulnerable hostage
to it, even though I’ve repeatedly done my level best
to rein in and sought with the utmost earnestness
to permanently put an end to this intolerable
situation that I find myself in, albeit and
regrettably I must concede having been
exceptionally unsuccessful so far
in that specific endeavour.

In marked contrast were I to like you that state of affairs
would of itself be an entirely different ball game, the
rules of which are pretty straightforward and very
unlikely, if ever, to be either influenced or even
skewed by largely irrational and quite often
inexplicable emotions that in the case of love,
customarily as well as infuriatingly, have the habit
of getting in the way of logical decision-making.
As a result the level playing field that would
accordingly result from this discerning
approach to evaluating matters of
the mind through liking someone
encouragingly then becomes
a much more realistic and
sensible way of actually
dealing with affairs
of the heart.

That unfortunately isn’t a credible scenario where
you and I are concerned, and therefore I’d like to
suggest that we both, out of a deserved integrity
to ourselves as individual human beings if not
from any sense of duty or common decency
to all those who’ve not only plausibly fallen
in love but also genuinely like the person to
whom that love is freely entrusted, do the
proper thing and permanently dispense
with this farce of a relationship that
maintains its stranglehold on me,
and which sensibly and with
hindsight, from both our
true perspectives, we
should never have
embarked on
in the first

© Stanley V. Collymore
20 October 2013.

Self-delusion is a recurrent theme that pervasively runs through many dysfunctional relationships allegedly and, more often than not, entered into on the basis of love. Each to their own I say but I’d much prefer to know that I actually like someone and that that liking is genuinely reciprocated, rather than fatuously or even consciously subduing myself and de facto my innermost feelings to the often senseless vagaries of supposed love.

That’s my personal pitch and I’m resolutely sticking with it; you too have the inalienable and democratic right to do the same or else choose to flounder in the morass of unrequited love or embed yourselves in deeply impaired emotional liaisons. It’s your call; and whether that decision is the epitome of sagacity or clearly the outcome of abysmal stupidity, while legitimately opening itself up to approval or criticism it should nevertheless be firmly respected.

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